Things I Hate: My Chest

I know we're not supposed to hate our bodies, and for the most part, I don't. Although they see sunlight (and club lights) a lot, I cannot stand my chest. They're a hassle. They're big, they're in the way, and they're probably going to give me back problems. Just so you know how big we're talking, I mean DD cup. There's larger ones out there--real and fake--but I've been blessed enough to have the skinny lower half, huge upper half, inverted triangle body. 

Blessed my ass. I usually look like a stripper or a balloon, and nothing ever fits. Please don't get me started on dresses. I wholly believe that the world would be a better place if I, and others with my body type, could wear zip dresses that are made for bigger busts--and not strapless where I, again, look like a stripper. At least women with wider hips/butts have dress with a-line skirts that are super cute. I thought I there would be some with the resurgence of the retro, Mad Men-style dresses. "Wiggle" dresses are not my friend if I want to breathe. 

Nipples. I've seen/played with/etc my fair share of breasts of various sizes. I've only seen one natural pair that semi-resemble what porn and Playboy has told me that my chest should look like. They were pierced so I'm not sure if they still count. I'm always super conscious of where my nipples point (more ground than sky), which is why I try to keep my bra on when getting frisky especially with boys. Most people aren't big fans of that. Even though almost every guy and girl I've been with doesn't care what they look like as long as they get some, I still freak out. Being with other girls and seeing different types of breasts has made me feel a bit better about myself. (Proving that women are yet again amazing. I'm sometimes biased, whatever.) Some breasts are firm, others jiggly, and big and small aureolas. They're all beautiful except mine. 

As a side note, I do not know how women with bigger busts of the jiggly variety stay in shape without crying. I'm a runner. Or I used to be a runner. I still love and want to be a runner. I need to find armor for working out. At least I've found cute bras (thank god I live in a city with bra shops and Cacique). 

/endrant